rena_librarian (rena_librarian) wrote in pcos_childfree,

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Modified and x-posted from my personal journal and to cf_christians.

(Blah blah blah, clarifying to the flist what childfreedom is...)

Anyway. Having been none too pleased with the RL opportunities that have crossed my path, and having been directed to a 100% free dating site, I've ventured back into online dating. Now, among other things on your profile, there's an option you can check as to how you feel about kids: yes, do not want kids, undecided/open. I'll only message guys in the latter two, but I don't stop kid-wanters from messaging me. I figure if they see that and message me anyway they're not too serious about it, but I'd definitely ask before things got too far.

Anyway, I was checking my messages tonight and got my first onsite IM. Of course as soon as it popped up I was checking out the guy's profile, and he fit the basics (nonsmoker, Christian, right age, etc), but it was riddled with typos and we didn't seem to have any interests in common. Still, he had expressed interest so I was trying to be polite, 'cause hey, you never know.

Well, his IM spelling/grammar was no better than his profile so I was pretty quick to see that it was going to go nowhere fast. I can forgive typos and certain misspellings if effort is being made, but he told me he was at the age where it's difficult to meet girls thusly: "i am at that age know whar it is defrclt to find agirl" Copied-and-pasted. Ouch. And he was trying to tell me how smart he was, because my profile says I'm looking for a geeky guy. I asked him three times what his favorite book was and he never answered.

I put up that I drink and he was looking for a nondrinker, but he asked how much and he said it was fine. Then I noticed he only wanted to date girls who live on their own. Meep, that set off alarm bells. At the end, I saw my golden window: Wants kids: yes.

(lots of pasted poor grammar and spelling ensue)

rena_librarian:  so why would you only date a girl who lived by herself?
DatingSiteGuy:  so that way she could take me to her house and it would just be us
rena_librarian:  you live at home?
DatingSiteGuy:  avry girl i dated lived with her parints and never drove
DatingSiteGuy:  a i stell live with my mom and dad

...yeah, I think he was looking for sex. Just a hunch. So I brought up the kids thing:

rena_librarian:  ...your profile says you want kids
DatingSiteGuy:  yes i love kids
rena_librarian:  I don't want kids
rena_librarian:  it's on my profile
DatingSiteGuy:  well thats you
rena_librarian:  haha, yeah, but I wouldn't want to date a guy who definitely wanted to have them someday
DatingSiteGuy:  you have not playd with any kids be for have you
rena_librarian:  actually, I have seven neices and nephews, and a goddaughter
rena_librarian:  not to mention 15+ younger cousins
rena_librarian:  and church kids
rena_librarian:  and kids when I was a junior counselor at a summer camp

...I was rather proud of myself. I still tried to be nice though, I don't figure anyone likes to be shot down any more than I do. If there's someone out there for me, there's someone out there for him, too. Just...not me.

rena_librarian:  kids are okay in small doses, when they're someone else's and I can send them home when they get whiny/cranky
rena_librarian:  but I wouldn't want to live with them
DatingSiteGuy:  and i would not mined dating a person who has kinds
rena_librarian:  maybe you should put that in your profile; there's a lot of single moms who have a hard time finding a date
DatingSiteGuy:  your right
rena_librarian:  so I don't think you and me would make a good match
rena_librarian:  but good luck

So yeah. I think that officially counts as my first bingo from a stranger. Family is one thing, and I can even understand Crazy Betty from work, but that was

And a thought: Why do people retort with "You'll change your mind when you have one and hold it in your arms!" When is that going to be if I've decided never to have them? *scratches head in puzzlement*
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